Tuesday, December 13, 2016

A Brutally Honest Review of the Inevitable End to Civil War in Syria

Today, for my final blog post for class rather than review, music, movies or other entertainment medium, I thought that I would offer my thoughts about the inevitable end to the civil war in Syria. Over the past five years I, along with millions of other people have watched as the citizens of Syria took up arms against the regime of Bashar al- Assad. The Assad’s Baathist government has had power in Syria for over forty years, and has taken great pains to keep it. Any and all resistance or other challenges to Baathist power have been brutally quelled.
So, it was quite unsurprising that not long after the escalation of hostilities in the most recent and brutal conflict, that there was talk of chemical weapons being deployed against the rebels. In the weeks that followed, just about every major news agency was broadcasting images of the grotesque slaughter; the terrified faces of displaced civilians running for cover, while government helicopters dropped barrel bombs on crowded streets-all the horrors of war simulcast in stunning 1080p.
I for one am sick of watching. But as to whether or not I can in good conscience show even the slightest bit of elation, at hearing that it might soon be over remains to be seen. Unlike many of the people I know, (who like me have followed news of the war closely), I have not been able to pick a side. Although I am far from a Baathist supporter, the Free Syrian Army, and their rebel coalition haven’t exactly “blown my skirt up” either,  to be frank,  in my opinion they don’t seem to be the freedom fighters they’re purported  to be. While the Assad government was dropping bombs and launching chemical weapons, the FSA were wiping out entire villages of Christians, burning churches, and taking video  footage of its soldiers mutilating the corpses  of vanquished enemies and ingesting their organs.

All this to say, now that the Syrian Civil war is drawing to a close I feel like I should be happy that five years of war are almost at an end, but I don’t know if I can be. On one hand, the FSA might not have been the ideal winner, but I kind of want to believe that they’d certainly have to be the better choice than Assad’s Baathists. On the other hand, as a younger man in 2003 I saw first hand the destructive destabilization that occurs when Baathist regimes are toppled. The results were 10 years of Iraqi insurgency, followed by the formation and rise to power of ISIS, the alleged Islamic Caliphate. Which brings us smack dab to where we are now… In the words of Raul Duke, “What’s next? What’s the score here?”

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Me & Morrissey

Why I’m going to Therapy Next Week: A Brutally Honest review of my platonic love affair with Morrissey



Well dear readers, even though I’m desperately behind schedule with this latest post, I hope that the content hereafter will be ample restitution for my tardiness. Normally I would give you a brutally honest review of something I had little or no exposure to, but in this case I feel that is necessary to make an exception. This week, I’d like to talk about the music of Morrissey.
I’ll be the first to admit that at first I couldn’t stand him, or his music. I thought he was kind of pompous and whiny. I would even make jokes poking fun at how sad he always seemed to be. But one day in 10th grade, my first serious girlfriend broke up with me- broke my heart. I remember griping, grousing, and grimacing around the house all day long for about two weeks straight. Needless to say this wore on my parents nerves to no end-eventually they banished me to my room, in hopes that solitude would remedy my heart ache…okay well, they probably just wanted some respite from their angsty teenage son.
I made  my acquiescence known  with the slam of the door (but not before I pilfered a bottle of my Step Mom’s wine). Once the door was locked in seclusion, the wne and I headed straight for my stereo. The wine and I sat for a while leafing through my jumbo sized booklet of cds (I had around 500 albums or so at that time) and I remember thinking: Nobody could possibly understand, how sad I am right now…. That’s when it happened, I flipped to the next page of albums and there it was- the only Smiths album I had; “ The Queen is Dead” so I decided to put it on. I figured that Morrissey and I could have a session of drinking and moping.
This was hands down one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I must’ve listened to I know it’s Over dozens of times that night. His words were like a salve on my moldering heart. Love is natural and real, but not for us my love- not tonight my love. Love is natural and it’s real, but not for such as you and I…my love. Just like that I was hooked.
Those of you reading this who know me personally, may also know that for the most part, I find people who develop cult like admiration for things that are “too unhip to be cool and are therefore cool anyway,” to be caustic and irritating. But, today the startling realization came upon me that I am one of those people. It all started this morning, when  a friend of mine sent me a link to some live videos of one of Moz’s shows, and suggested that I check them out. So I clicked on it, and left the videos on for some background. I occasionally glanced up from my work to see what was happening on my TV screen. I looked up at one point, and there he was, hands flailing, and wobbling his torso all around the stage, even pausing at one point to make the sign of the cross (still not sure what that’s about). As for the other things they’re pretty common tropes in Morrissey’s performances. If anyone else in the world were doing them though, I’d surely be doubled over in hysterical laughter, but for some reason these nerdy, awkward spasms only make me love him more. It’s like he’s the only guy on the planet who could pull those “stereotypical white guy moves “off and still walk away looking suave(at least in my mind), but that’s not even the worst of my symptoms…
The thing that has me seriously considering spending sometime draped over an analyst couch is, that when I saw people being tackled by security for jumping on stage to touch his hand, and being carted away still singing along; I couldn’t help but think, totally worth it.  Here’s where it gets   Freudian strange though, at the end of the show he takes off his shirt, and throws it into the crowd. As it fluttered down toward people’s outstretched hands, I thought, God I’d punch somebody right in the face, or maybe even…No definitely, fight off a pack of wild bears in order get my hands Morrissey’s shirt…


Sunday, November 13, 2016

American Beauty

American Beauty, is apparently a widely beloved film, I surmised this based on the gasps and awkward looks I received when I said that I had not seen it. After watching it this past week I can understand why. If I were to try to describe the movie to someone else who had not seen it without giving anything away, I would tell them that the film is for lack of a better term a wonderful clusterfuck.
 I love movies that attack what to me is the absolutely ludicrous idea of the nuclear family. This statement is not meant to be an affront to anyone belonging to such a family; but rather the notion of an idyllic, and pristine family, as portrayed on shows like Leave it to Beaver. That whole deal makes me sick. So, you can imagine my relief when the façade of such a family quickly unravels in the film. Despite the Burnham family’s best effort to portray themselves as such, it is abundantly clear that they hate each other.
The first character to “cast off the veil” so to speak, is the Father, Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey); he is also fittingly the character who is the most comfortable living with said veil removed. Not long into the movie, he begins acting out, perhaps due to a mid-life crisis, but whatever the reason is, Lester starts smoking pot, quits his job (only to take another job at a local burger joint), and having sexual fantasies about his daughter’s best friend. Just about every middle-aged Dad in the world would probably daydreams about living the life that Lester creates for himself, but doesn’t have the stones to   go through with it.

Lester Burnham is not, however, the only member of the Burnham clan who starts behaving bizarrely in the film, his jilted wife also begins acting strangely, she starts sleeping with her boss, shooting guns, and flying off the handle at the slightest provocation from Lester- suffice to say that just about every member of the family, including their daughter gets drug into the whirlpool of selfish indifference; making for a rollercoaster ride of a movie. American Beauty is a film full of self indulgent and fucked up people, whose personas and actions do not necessarily match up. No doubt a device utilized by the writer of the film to keep you guessing right up until the very end.  For those of you who’ve not seen the movie, I encourage you to check it out.  My scant use of details is deliberate, as to not give away too much for anyone who has not seen the movie; and for those of you who have seen it, I’m sure you had little trouble filling in the blanks.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

"Into" by;Common

Hello, Hello, Hello, readers! It’s that time again, another review of something or another that somebody told me to check out. I know some of you have been looking forward to this, and others of you have probably been dreading it; regardless of whether you’re the former or the latter let’s get to it. In this installment I’ll be reviewing “Be-Intro” by Common.
For those of you who don’t know it (I’m assuming most of you don’t), I am what some might call a connoisseur of Rap and Hip Hop music. I’ve been thumping, and bumping the likes of 2pac Shakur, Biggie Smalls, Bone Thugz n’ Harmony and the like since the early 90s, and in true OG fashion, I have become disenfranchised with today’s brand of rap. I loathe Lil’ Wayne, 2 Chains, and most especially Kanyezus, so when my source asked me to review Common, I cringed. However, this blog is based on recommendations, so what choice do I have?
I know Common for his acting, he plaid Elam Furgeson on the AMC western drama hell on Wheels, but never his music, so I really didn’t know what to expect. I really and truly hoped that it wouldn’t be some flamboyant, auto tuned dub step mix kinda thing, and surprisingly it wasn’t. The song starts out slowly with an almost bluesy kind of riff, then escalates into, a sort of 8 bit NES kinda thing, then common lets lose. His lyrics are deep, articulate, and almost prophetic; which is more than can be said of a majority of his peers- No made up words here (Sorry Weezy). It’s to early to tell if Common will make it onto any of my playlists, but it’s not unprobable. For me, three premises 1 define good rap, 1. Structure, 2. Substance,  and 3. Flow. These are all criteria that this song in particular meets, as for the rest of his music…We’ll see. If you want to check it out for yourself, to see exactly what I'm talking about, just follow the link.


The I.T. Crowd

A brutally Honest Review of the British television comedy; The I.T. Crowd: I’m relatively new to British tv- I guess all the hours my old man spent watching Benny Hill put me off of it for a while. So much so, that I was even afraid to watch Monty Python for the longest time. It didn’t matter what anyone had to say about it either, I simply would not watch it. Then lo, one glorious day that all changed; let’s just say that on this particular day I was in the right frame of mind, and when I sat down and watched “Live at the Hollywood Bowl” I laughed hysterically through the whole thing. I guess you could say, that day taught me a valuable lesson about preconceived notions. So, when this recommendation came across my proverbial desk, I was hoping that this too would be a pleasant surprise.
            The IT crowd was aired in the early 2000s, when most of my class mates (who make up the bulk of my audience) were still in Huggies, as for me, I was in my prime so for me the show provides a solid dose of nostalgia; PlayStation 2, Myspace, and crackling high speed DSL internet. Ten years (give or take) removed from these aged, if not obsolete technologies, we’ve got a pretty firm grasp on how these things work; but in the 00s it’d take a special kind of person(s) to wield power over such cutting edge platforms. In the case of Reynholm Industries, That responsibility falls upon the narrow, gangly shoulders of Roy Treneman (Chris O’Dowd), and Maurice Moss.

            The bulk of the show takes place in the basement hovel of the I.T. office, where Moss and Roy “hone their skills;” by which I mean they fritter away their days aimlessly. Roy, a slightly pudgy fellow, pisses and moans about his lack of a date, and being socially awkward, and occasionally answers the phone to ask the caller, "Is it plugged in? Have you tried turning it off and turning it on again?"  And the bespectacled Moss busies himself with games or some other stereotypically nerdy activity. Of the two, Moss is definitely the foil, and Roy the protagonist, because Moss seems okay with his job, his life, and even himself even though Roy seems to be his only friend. Whereas Roy yearns for a life in the “normal world” beyond the walls of his office, and that’s where the trouble starts; especially for Moss, because he always seems to get caught in the middle of whatever scheme Roy hatches to help him/them assimilate into a regular crowd.
In what is definitely my favorite episode (so far) Roy decides that he feels left out, and out of touch with the other guys who work for the company, many of who discuss Football (Soccer). So, in order to fulfill his need for social acceptance, he and Moss go to the Pub after work. Once at the pub they ingratiate themselves with a group of West Ham United supporters by using tidbits of jargon they picked up from the guys at work. Little do they know that their newfound friends are lowly hooligans of the worst kind.  Bank robbers to be precise, and unfortunately for Roy, he ends up along for the ride.

I’ve gotta say, I don’t really have anything snarky or cynical to say about this show, I really enjoyed it.  In fact, I’m going to thank the person who recommended it to me. The fact that it at one point involves Soccer Hooliganism is just an added bonus, all and all I give The I.T. Crowd, an unprecedented 10/10